If there’s one thing that amazes me in this world – besides wingsuits – is the love everyone in the entire WORLD has for sushi. I mean, we’re talking about raw fish wrapped in seaweed. Seaweed! Why not top it off with some pond scum? It’d probably make it taste better.

The problem I face in my everyday life is that everyone wants to go out for sushi. Sushi, sushi, sushi. Hamburgers? Not good enough. Pizza? So last year. I can’t seem to escape the sushi no matter what I do. Every time I tell people that I have no love for raw fish, they always say the same goddamned thing, “You just haven’t had good sushi.” Look, I’ve re-tried sushi at least 20 times, all at different places, even in Japantown in San Francisco, and it all sucks. I don’t care how well the cook prepares everything, it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s raw fish hiding in a seaweed blanket. I’m not Godzilla, a bear, or even a dolphin – keep sushi away from me.

The fact is, since I’m the only one in the world who hates sushi, I get looks from people that basically translate as “Where are you from, North Dakota? Ever heard of culture?” Yes, I know of Japan and have had sushi, I just hate it. For all you out there that love it, I hope you get sushi worms and die. ‘Nuff said.


1 Comment

  1. You speak pejoratively of culture in an attempt to justify for dislike of sushi. Who are you? Karl Rove? You forgot to call sushi enthusiasts elitists.

    What’s wrong with raw fish, seaweed, and blankets?

    You don’t like it and that’s all on you, not culture.

    And, you do like it. You’re just too scared to admit it.

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