WHAT CAN I SAY… I WAS CURIOUS

Last night I couldn’t really get to sleep. I tossed, turned, nothing worked. The only thing left to do was to scour the Internet for entertainment.

I decided the best way to waste time was to Yahoo! people search anyone I wanted to get in touch with but had no way of doing so. A friend from 8th grade, a rower from high school, etc… It was this kind of searching that led me to do something online that has always intrigued me but I’ve never actually done. Kinda like actually going onto the FBI website and looking at their Top Ten list. I’ll give you a hint: Ever see the movie The Woodsman?

Always WatchingYes, I hopped on the Family Watchdog site and decided to check out the sex offenders in my area. It felt shady doing it, but I was so curious I couldn’t help myself. Being that I live in the East Bay, the amount that came up on the map was amazing. Suburban Moraga has zero, Oakland has over 50. Makes me hate Moraga even more.

Then I decided to put my last name in the search terms (not because I thought I’d come up, but I have a pretty unique last name so I was hoping it would be zero). Not only did one guy come up, but he even has my first name. There is a John Heylin sex offender out there. Granted, I did a fair amount of peeing in public or streaking to warrant a sex offense (yes, you can be convicted as a sex offender for doing those two things) but I didn’t expect this. I had remembered briefly a while back Google-ing my name and seeing an article about a John Heylin that assaulted a girl at a playground, but man, there he was.

I’m just glad the guy is like 80 years old and looks nothing like me, that’d be creepy if he was in his 20’s and looked like me – might have a double life going on there. Have you searched your last name yet?

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