My God It Itches

IMG_1251My ink is starting to peel off which sucks for a few reasons.  The first is that I want to peel it off but it might cause scarring or whatever.  The second is that it itches like a mother fucker!

The weird thing about this tattoo is that it didn’t feel like such a big deal.  I mean, while I was getting it, every time the needle got near my armpit of that lower arm fat I felt like grimacing.  You know, that little lower part of your arm that if someone pinched it would hurt like a mother fucker?  I am not really looking forward to getting it colored in and the compass rose on that sickly white soft skin on the inside of my arm, but goddamn do I want to do it!

In fact, I am really considering doing my other arm, and maybe getting full sleeves when my job situation levels out.  Who knows though, this might be enough.

In other news, my mom just about cried when I told her I was getting her dad’s (my grandpa Hotch) name on my ship.  And when I told her I finally did it, she said her heart skipped a beat.  That makes me feel awesome.  My dad might not like tattoos too much, but I like to think that this artwork on my arm is going to be a fitting tribute to Hotch.

Any-hoo, back to homework for my night classes in Business.  I’m trying to start my own brewing company.

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I Am An Amateur

coppercableAfter two days working on site, I feel like I am way over my head.  Evidenced by the fact that I’ve already done about $500 worth of damage to equipment and repairing a few of the welds I did.  I’m certified and everything, but I’m doing stuff that I’ve never done before (bridging a one-inch gap by laying down weld after weld) and using flux-core MIG wire.

To protect the wire you’re laying down onto the surface of the metal it needs to be protected from the outside elements so no impurities get welded into it and ten years later it starts breaking or whatever.  In class we used a mixture of Argon and C02 to shield the wire from oxygenation.  On the job site there’s this material called flux which is built into the wire and protects the weld while you’re laying it down.  This means after you’re done you have this hard casing of flux you need to chip off the original weld in case you want to weld on top of the other weld.

It is because of this much pain-in-the-ass that I took up the gas-shielding type of welding.  If I wanted to chip away flux all day I would have taken up stick welding.  Sadly, I’m working at a snails pace and keep waiting for them to just fire me.  But, it hasn’t happened… yet.  Only two more weeks!

As for the broken equipment, the thick copper cable that powers the welding machine I accidentally ran over with a scissor-lift (it raises up a few stories and the joints look like scissors) which is no problem, but the tire was resting on top of the cable.  Lo and behold, when I extended the lift up, the cable stretched and then broke.  My god those things are SO full of copper.  Anyways, there goes a $500 cable.  I am such an idiot.

I kinda hope everyone was this clueless the first time they were working on a site.  Like a Greenhorn from ‘Deadliest Catch’ you know?

Ah well, two more weeks.

I Am So Fucking Tired

weldingThe good news is I have a job. The better news is that it’s welding. Basically, I’m putting together the roof of a new Lowe’s. They want me to work 12 hour days which is fine with me, I could use the overtime and cash. Sadly, for the next two weeks, I may be strugglin’ to make posts often.

Wish me well!

That Kinda Tickled

arm

Oh man, that kinda hurt.  I just got back from the first session of my tattoo and yowza.  I am SO not looking forward to completing the rest of it on the inside of my arm.  Every time the needle got a little close to that soft-arm area goodness I had to forcefully meditate to stop me from wincing too much.  The coloring and the underarm will be done on July 29th, a little over a month from now, which sucks but well worth the wait.  Jason over at FTW Tattoo is a huge bad-ass.

Anyways, I’m off to get a bite to eat and weep big man tears as I remove the bandage.

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Having Powers Would Be Awkward

powersI really don’t feel like super-hero stories get it right.  Sure, Heroes and the X-Men have stories about mutant persecution and running from the law/imprisonment.  But imagine if you yourself had a super power and how hard it would be to hide.

For instance, let’s say you had the power to see through clothes.  At first you’d be ecstatic.  Yes!  I can see anyone I want naked!  But you wouldn’t be able to turn it off.  Everyone is naked but you it seems (for the sake of this argument you can see clothes, just not when worn by people).  How many Seinfeld-like scenarios could you come up with because of that kind of super-power?

Someone would ask you what you think of their new t-shirt that has a super-funny slogan on it, but you can’t read it.  “Hahahaaaa, yeah, that is pretty clever.”  “Clever?  It’s a picture of Einstein.”  “Hrm, well clever in a intelligent way.”

Or maybe you noticed something like a chick has a clit piercing (come on, you know you’d look) and you’re with a group of people and she mentions that she just got a new piercing that hurt like hell.  “Yeah, piercing your clit must have hurt like fuck.”  Her face goes sheet white and everyone looks at you all shocked.  “I didn’t get my clit pierced, I got my eyebrow pierced.  How did you know I have a clit piercing?”  If you looked up backtrack in the dictionary, it doesn’t even begin to describe the shit you’d be in.  Are you spying on her in her home?  Ask an ex?  How do you know that?

Or what about looking at people naked all the time?  I’m convinced the only reason we here in the US freak out over boobs is because they’re so taboo.  Can you imagine how unappealing boobs would be if women always walked around topless?  Now imagine everyone naked.  You’d see every contour of their body, every blemish, shadow, crack, poo-stain, whatever.  Yoga class would make you want to puke.  Hell, you might even stop finding the human body attractive to the point where sex is meaningless and you’d get off on photos of Amish women or chicks in Burkas.

All sorts of awkward.  That kind of super-power would suck.  Kinda reminds me of a previous rant I wrote about how having the power of invisibility would be horrible.

You Were Not Famous In A Past Life, Sorry

Everyone I know who thinks that there is the possibility of having a past life always comes up with someone famous.  “I was Plato!”  “I was Lincoln!”  “I was Dracula!”  Okay, I’ve never heard anyone say that last one but it kinda makes you think how exactly you’d react if you were talking to someone and they spouted that out.  But I’m a wee bit sick of everyone thinking they were superstars in their past lives.  If you were so fucking great in your past life, how come your life now is so shitty?  What, no countries to beat into submission?  No people to enslave?  No scientific discoveries to make anymore?  Because there are.  Hell, you could probably go to Bolivia with $50,000 cash in hand and take over your own region of the place.  What’s stopping you smart guy?

farmer

The fact is, if there were past lives, you most likely were no one.  You were a no-name farmer, a criminal, or maybe even a homeless person.  When you look at the populations way back then the odds are pretty good.  I’m not lying to myself, I know I did jack shit.  I probably tried to kill the guy who discovered fire because he took my rabbit fur hat.  After that, I probably died in childbirth a few thousand times, maybe even became a French Transvestite back when it was cool in the 1700’s, and served on the board of the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna who denied Hitler acceptance to the art school and setting off his new career in the military.

Honestly, who knows?  You probably died of the plague in Europe after accomplishing nothing other than surviving to the age of 16 and eating your little sister when famine struck.  So please, stop using famous people.