You Were Not Famous In A Past Life, Sorry

Everyone I know who thinks that there is the possibility of having a past life always comes up with someone famous.  “I was Plato!”  “I was Lincoln!”  “I was Dracula!”  Okay, I’ve never heard anyone say that last one but it kinda makes you think how exactly you’d react if you were talking to someone and they spouted that out.  But I’m a wee bit sick of everyone thinking they were superstars in their past lives.  If you were so fucking great in your past life, how come your life now is so shitty?  What, no countries to beat into submission?  No people to enslave?  No scientific discoveries to make anymore?  Because there are.  Hell, you could probably go to Bolivia with $50,000 cash in hand and take over your own region of the place.  What’s stopping you smart guy?

farmer

The fact is, if there were past lives, you most likely were no one.  You were a no-name farmer, a criminal, or maybe even a homeless person.  When you look at the populations way back then the odds are pretty good.  I’m not lying to myself, I know I did jack shit.  I probably tried to kill the guy who discovered fire because he took my rabbit fur hat.  After that, I probably died in childbirth a few thousand times, maybe even became a French Transvestite back when it was cool in the 1700’s, and served on the board of the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna who denied Hitler acceptance to the art school and setting off his new career in the military.

Honestly, who knows?  You probably died of the plague in Europe after accomplishing nothing other than surviving to the age of 16 and eating your little sister when famine struck.  So please, stop using famous people.

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1 Comment

  1. Totally agree. People need to give it a rest– the laws of statistics dictate that even if this isn’t your first time at the rodeo, you probably were absolutely nobody….just like most of us are today.


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