Wanted: iPhone Users


So my buddy John Wulff has added a new feature to Project Paranoid, our map wiki that hopes to map every external camera in North America.  Check out more details here.  Basically if you have a phone or camera that tags the photo with GPS, we need your help.

We need you to start snapping photos of external cameras (security, red-light, webcam, traffic and speed cameras) with your phone and emailing them to newcamera@projectparanoid.com which will automatically populate the images on our map.  You can then go to the site and edit the camera positions (if they’re off by a little).

More will come, but for right now we really need help getting images.  So if you see one and can spare 5 seconds, please do!

Happy Hunting!


My Friend Solved The Pedophile Problem

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this myself.  Pedophiles are a huge issue in our world.  Everyone wants them to get better and stop sleeping with little children, but everyone also wants to beat the crap out of them and also keep them 500 miles from other human beings.  So how do we solve this?

Of course the obvious solution is snipping their balls off.  It kills sexual drive, keeps kids safe, and might even get rid of that pencil-this molester mustache pedophiles always sport.  But you’d be wrong.  There’s an easy answer within our grasp that doesn’t involve the harming of any person.

We’ll give pedophiles asian women.

asianpedSome Asian women look like they are 12 even though they are 30.  Think about it.  The pedophile will have someone who looks like a kid, has a high voice and laughs like a kid, and yet is actually of LEGAL AGE.  It’s so simple.  All we need to do is find enough women like that who are willing to take the bullet for society and be a 12 year old for the rest of their life.

I Am A Bad-Ass

dancefloorSee that?  I built a dance floor.  In a day.  I took a shitload of pallets, a bunch of plywood, a shovel, screws and a saw and made it.  My mom helped a lot.  Molly and her dad helped too.  The friggin’ thing is HUGE, like 800 square feet.  My apartment is smaller.  I am sore.  The way I look at it, I could have rented a 15 by 15 foot dance floor for $400, or I could build it.  I built it and it’s more than just 15 by 15, it’s more like 36 by 30.

Honestly, I hope it doesn’t break at the wedding and the slight bumps in it don’t throw anyone off on the dance floor.  Be safe!  (Gotta finish the lighting this weekend).